When I opened the box of books (that arrived by mail only a day ago) and flipped through the pages, I realized I had made the right choice doing it my way. The book looks and reads beautifully. And even though FOWL, SWINE AND THINGS THAT SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE has been available as an eBook for the past seven months, there is something new and exciting about reading it in paperback form.
These very special, very limited paperback editions of FOWL, SWINE AND THINGS THAT SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE are only available through my online store. Get your copy now! And for a short time, you can also purchase signed copies of my first novel THE KING OF ARUGULA.
Fowl, Swine and Things That Send Shivers Down Your Spine
(Very Limited) Paperback Edition
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FOWL, SWINE AND THINGS THAT SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINEBy Christopher Millin
And when Onus woke, the sun was warming his forehead.
He turned to see Twig’s eyes fluttering.
“How long have we been sleeping?” Twig asked when he noticed Onus looking at him.
“I don’t know,” Onus said. “Oh wait. I’ve got the watch Fang left me last night.”
He dug around in his pocket and pulled out the watch. “That’s odd,” he said.
“What’s odd?” Twig said.
“The watch must be broken, because it has the same time on it as when I looked at it last night. 11:49.”
“Well maybe it’s that time now. Just a.m. instead of p.m.”
“Nope,” Onus said. “The watch says 11:49 p.m.”
But the time no longer concerned Twig. “Where…where are we?” he asked.
The sidecar had stopped rocking. It had stopped floating. It had stopped. It was buried in the dirt and sand along a muddy beach. It was a muddy beach that stretched for miles and miles along what the boys could now see was a river. Water from the river lapped up against the back of the sidecar, like it was trying to spit the sidecar even further up on the beach, like the sidecar tasted bitter, or it was just too big to swallow.
“We fell asleep, Twig. Who knows how far we floated,” Onus said. “We have to find a phone.”
“Shouldn’t we find out where we are first?” Twig asked.
Onus jumped out of the sidecar. His feet sunk into the mud, but with a little effort he was able to pull one out. It made a funny suction sound, kind of like the sound Twig made after he ate too many beans. “Phooot.” He pulled the other foot out and it made the same sound. “Phooot.” Slowly, he walked towards a big hill of rocks just up the beach from where the sidecar had beached itself.
Phooot. Phooot. Phooot. Phooot.
“Hey, Onus,” Twig said. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to find out where we are and then I’m going to find a phone.”
Twig took off his helmet and jumped out of the sidecar. His feet sunk as well. His feet sunk even deeper than Onus’s feet. His feet had sunk so deep that he couldn’t pull them out like Onus had. He couldn’t make them make that funny suction sound that Onus’s feet were making.
“Onus, I’m stuck.”
“Use your hands,” Onus said.
“What do you mean?”
“Wrap your hands around your knee and use the strength of your arms to lift your foot out of the mud.”
“Of course,” Twig said.
He grabbed under his knee and using all his strength he pulled upwards.
“I got it!” Twig yelled. He put his hands underneath his other knee and lifted upwards.
Each step he took, it seemed his feet sunk a little deeper. “How come your feet aren’t sinking as deep as mine, Onus?”
Onus looked back at Twig. “I guess you weigh more than me. Heavier objects are naturally going to sink deeper.”
But Twig couldn’t figure out how he could weigh more than Onus. Twig essentially was a twig. Even though he was older than Onus, he was skinnier and he had a smaller shoe size than Onus. By the time Twig met Onus at the bottom of the hill of rocks he was exhausted. What would have taken less than a few seconds on paved ground, took him a whole five minutes. It was five minutes of lifting one leg and then lifting the other. Lifting one leg, then lifting the other. Lifting one leg, then lifting the other. You get the point. And as I’m sure you know, a leg weighs quite a bit, even if it’s just made of flesh and bone.
The rock hill was as high as a basketball hoop, an easy enough climb if you hadn’t just spent the last five minutes lifting your legs out of the mud they had been continuously sinking into. “I need to rest for a second, Onus.”
“That’s odd, Twig. I really thought I weighed more than you,” Onus said.
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
“I should have sunk just as deep, if not deeper than you had.”
“You should have sunk just as deep, if not deeper than I had.”
Something near the river breathed a deep breath. The boys stopped talking. They both looked down near the river where the sidecar was stuck. The muddy beach began to move. It caved in and they heard the breathing sound again. Then the beach filled back up with mud and sand. It was like the ground below them had begun to breath. Up and down it moved, like your chest when you are breathing. Up down. Up down. The sidecar was moving now, rocking back and forth. Rocking back and forth. And with each breath the beach took, the sidecar sunk a little. Sinking. Sinking. Sinking. And within seconds it was gone, swallowed up, breathed in, nowhere to be seen.
“We’ve got to climb the rocks now,” Onus yelled.
“But I’m so tired,” Twig said.
All along the river’s beach things were being swallowed up. Driftwood went under. Piles of stones went under. The skeletons of large fish went under. The beach was eating up everything it could…everything that was lying on top of it.
“If we don’t climb the rocks now the beach is going to eat us, too,” Onus said.
He grabbed a hold of a rock and started to climb. The rocks were sharp and rough, but the slight pain in his hands was a lot better than the extreme pain of being swallowed by a beach that seemed to have a taste for everything. If it could eat a motorcycle’s sidecar, it could surely eat a ten-year-old boy.
He climbed half way up the hill and looked back to see Twig still catching his breath. A large tree branch just beyond Twig disappeared under the ground. “Twig, hurry up and climb!” Onus yelled.
Twig turned just in time to see the end of the branch go under. The time he had to catch his breath was now officially over. If he waited any longer he would end up like the tree branch. Gone. He grabbed a rock and tried to start climbing, but he was stuck. The beach had a hold of his left foot. It swallowed his foot and began swallowing his whole leg.
“It’s got me, Onus! Help!”
©Christopher Millin 2012